The time of desire

(by Joana Cloetens, Self-Esteem Clinic)

The "welcome home" kiss that got lost, threatened by the possibility of being interpreted as an invitation...

The comforting embrace that no longer happens, for fear of turning into a crush and a piece of bad luck leading to an unwanted undressing.

ejado…

The hip grab as a dance move that should be avoided, when it takes two to dance a tango…

All of this, which is an expression of so much and so little of "come to bed with me!", opens space for the silence of gestures of love, value, and security, which, instead of seeing monsters under the bed, spread them throughout the whole house!

The timing of desire is not obligatory; it doesn't have to be born from the touch that always united us, and today seems to separate us, in the intermittency of "it's been so long since..." or in the shaved groin of "today has to be!".

Desire comes at each person's own pace and rhythm, with a respect and understanding that twists fingers behind their backs so that somewhere in the sleepwalking of day or night, it intersects with the desire of the other. And... poof, the magic happens.

Those who expect desire to be a loyal and unwavering companion by their side are mistaken.

The time of desire is your time and the other person's time, and the time of both when you allow yourselves not to demand a calendar-based synchronicity from it. Let's think of desire as the music of the body itself, an orchestra of physical and psychological signals, each with its own instrument, all trying to play at the same time, the same rhythm, and miraculously finding harmony. Now try to think of the orchestra coming from the other side, and think how it's possible… “To love someone who hears the same song!”

This concert isn't for every orchestra! Of course not. That's why it's so important to make time in our audience to listen to someone else play their music, to tap their foot and sway their body, to also unleash our own orchestra on stage and make it a moment that... will be worth dancing to.

@joanacloetens

@clinicadaautoestima